The very thought of co-parenting your kids with your ex right after your split might stress you out – especially if your relationship with your ex is far from cordial at present. But the fact remains, successful co-parenting is super important in order to give your child a sense of stability, a security and also to help foster a good relationship with both parents. The less they feel the impact of the divorce, the better it will be for them. So, below are some quick tips that will help you co-parent your child successfully after your divorce.
Put your child first. Simple, right? Well, it’s not always simple when the other parent isn’t doing the same. You may feel that you are constantly being taken advantage of by your ex because he knows you will always give in to what’s best for your children. That’s okay! I call it “high road parenting” and it always wins in the end. Remember, children grow up, and they recognize which parent was putting the children’s needs above their own.
Find an outlet. Never ever use your child as a way of expressing your negative feelings towards your ex. Vent to a friend or your divorce coach. This way, your child is not caught in the middle. Added bonus: your child recognizes you as a mature, capable, SAFE parent.
Keep communication lines formal and focused. In order to co-parent, you will need to communicate with your ex. The best way to go about it is to communicate formally, talk only about the things you need to and keep all conversations focused on your child. Refrain from sharing any details of your personal life or reacting to any attempts by your ex to push your buttons.
Work as a team. Each parent must be well aware of his or her responsibilities and must carry them out without getting in the way of or criticizing the other parent. Try sharing a digital calendar.
Co-parenting is tough, but we’ll get through it together!