Back when I was in the deepest, darkest hours of my divorce (wait, make that years), I could only see what was right in front of me. Sadness. Fear. Loneliness. Isolation. Anxiety. Depression. And since that was all I could see, that was also all I thought about.

I was in a cycle of despair. The more I focused on the despair, the more of it I got. And the more I got, the more I focused on it.

Does this sound like you? Are you in a perpetual downward spiral?

We attract what we focus on. And if you focus on how miserable your life is, your life will continue to become more and more miserable.

It’s hard to snap out of this because it feeds itself. It’s a beast that needs to be wrestled to the ground. And when you’re at the lowest point in your life, it’s just really hard to muster up that much energy. Right?

So many of my clients come to me at this particular place. They’re desperate for someone to pull them out of this spiral. They’re scared they’ll never feel happy again. They worry about how their emotions are affecting their kids. They need someone to dig them out of the avalanche.

So how do I help them disrupt this pattern of destruction?

I pull them out of the present and into the future by teaching them how to visualize. Here’s how to do it.

  1. Carve out 10 minutes each day to sit quietly, close your eyes, and start imagining your ideal life. The more you do this, the more vivid it should become. Be specific. Identify where you are, who you are with, what you are wearing. Fill in as many details as possible: temperature, sounds, smells, colors, even conversations. The more vivid a picture you can paint, the better.
  2. After you have a clear picture in your head that you keep going back to, day after day, create a vision board. Get a piece of poster board and start cutting out pictures that resonate with the life you are visualizing. A house, a car, people, pets, furniture, clothes, books, a place on a map. Anything that fits into this new life you are creating. (Yes, you ARE creating this life.)
  3. Place this vision board in a place where you must see it every day, and start daydreaming about this world you’ve designed.

Now you are not just focusing on something positive, you are focusing on YOUR IDEAL LIFE. And that is what you are going to start attracting. Before you know it, your entire demeanor will change. You will start smiling again. You will feel incredibly hopeful and eager to get to that new life.

Your entire world will change. And it happens fast. The sooner you start, the sooner you will slay the beast.