Congratulations: You’re Depressed! The 4th Stage of Grief in Divorce

If you’re depressed about your divorce, then I just have 1 word for you:

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

You are now at the end of the long cycle of grief that accompanies divorce. Let’s revisit your journey through the 5 Stages of Grief:

1. DENIAL

At first you refused to believe that anything was wrong with your marriage. You accepted it as “normal” or looked the other way. That probably went on for years (maybe decades for some).

2. ANGER

You got mad as hell when you started thinking that you may be headed toward divorce. With that anger came energy, which at least got you into some momentum… temporarily.

3. BARGAINING

Once you realized that there was a pretty good chance divorce was inevitable, you resorted to pleading, begging and deal-making to try to stop it.

4. DEPRESSION

Now you’re depressed, which feels awful. But the good news is, it means you have accepted divorce as a fait accompli. It’s happening. After this, you’ll be headed for

5. ACCEPTANCE

This is where you want to be: the end of Grief Road, and it’s all downhill from here.

So congratulations on your depression!

Admittedly, this stage sucks. So, let’s see how we can get you out of it as quickly as possible. Of course, depression can be treated pharmaceutically. But if you’d rather go the natural route, here are my top 3 tips for coping with depression during divorce.

SELF CARE

I know, I know. You don’t even want to get out of bed. So why am I about to tell you to go get your nails done? Because it really does help. If you can pamper yourself, it will boost your self-esteem and your mood. So go get your hair cut. Or get a massage. Or just take a candlelit bubble bath. Try to do one small thing for yourself each day. Make it mandatory!

VISUALIZE

While you’re lying in bed, unable to get out from under the covers, spend some time picturing your post-divorce life. Where will you live? Who will you spend time with? What hobbies will you finally have time to pursue? Picture what you’re wearing, what you’re eating. How is this new home decorated? Have fun creating EXACTLY the life you want to manifest.

READ

Now’s a great time to catch up on all those self-improvement and inspirational books you’ve been meaning to get to. You don’t have the energy to do anything else, so take advantage all that time you’re spending in bed, and pick up a book! And don’t read on your phone or tablet. You’ll just be tempted to jump onto social media.

It’s hard dealing with depression, but remember this is “situational depression”. It will go away, and you will feel better. So since you know this won’t last forever, go ahead and indulge yourself as much as possible while you’re going through it. Nurse yourself back to health. Be kind to yourself. This will help you move through this awful stage as quickly as possible so you can get on with the important business of creating a new life you love!