When you’re going through a divorce, you’re tired!
You have a lot on your mind. You’re spread thin. You’re having to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life. It’s exhausting! So you need a lot of sleep. I tell my clients to try to get 8-9 hours every night.
Impossible, you say? The biggest complaint I hear from my clients is that they can’t fall asleep because they have too much on their minds. So what can you do when you’re exhausted, but you lie in bed at night staring at the ceiling? Well, I’m going to share with you the secret to falling asleep and staying asleep so that you can get through this emotionally draining time and function at your highest level.
Treat yourself like a baby.
If you brought a newborn home from the hospital, you’d immediately put that baby on a schedule. You’d try to feed her at the same time, put her down for naps at the same time, bathe her at the same time, put her to bed at the same time. Why do we treat babies this way? Because there’s comfort and stability in routine. It helps their little bodies learn to predict what’s coming next.
And that’s what you need right now: a steady routine. You need to get up at the same time, eat at the same time, sleep at the same time. Your body is going through enough right now. Making it try to adapt to crazy new sleep patterns (like staying up at night and napping during the day) or a disjointed eating schedule (ice cream at midnight?) will just throw it off even more.
Create a nighttime ritual.
Just as you may have a morning ritual (also SO important!), you should create a nighttime ritual. It may include a hot bath with some epsom salts, or a face cleansing routine, then maybe journaling or reading for a set amount of time, then some hot water and lemon or herbal tea, then maybe a meditation tape or music while you fall asleep.
It can be whatever you decide, in whatever order you decide BUT YOU MUST BE CONSISTENT (just like caring for a baby). The one thing you ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT DO is watch a screen. Do not read on a screen before bed or try to fall asleep watching TV. And turn your phone notifications off so you’re not tempted to pick it up when you’re trying to shut down.
Before long, your body will adapt and begin to recognize your ritual as a cue to prepare for sleep. Your mind will start shutting down and your muscles will start relaxing before you even hit the pillow. If you keep it up, the ultimate result will be 8-9 hours of restful sleep.