No one likes to talk about abuse in their own marriage. That’s why there’s so much of it. We hide it. We deny it. We make excuses for it. We cover it up.
Then there comes a day when you realize that things are never going to get better. And they’ll probably get worse. You will be in this toxic, negative, low-vibrational marriage for the rest of your life.
Unless you make a change.
When there is abuse in marriage, it’s usually not just one type. This week, I want to take a look at all the different types of abuse. Maybe by reading this list, you’ll realize that the abuse has spread to all different areas of your marriage. It is like a cancer. It grows and infects all facets of your life.
Here’s an overview of the types of abuse that can be found in marriages:
1. PHYSICAL
- beating/hitting
- choking
- overpowering
- barricading
- threatening physical abuse
- injuring
- putting you at risk
- deny you access
- pushing
- kicking
- intimidating
- destruction of property
2. VERBAL
- name calling
- cursing
- yelling
- screaming
3.  EMOTIONAL
- saying mean/hurtful things
- withholding affection
- not speaking to you
- ignoring you
- harassment
- embarrassing you
- making fun of you
- mocking
- criticizing
- threatening to take children away from you
- threatening suicide
- threatening to destroy property
4. PSYCHOLOGICAL
- making you believe things that aren’t true
- convincing you that you are losing your mind (gaslighting)
- hiding things from you
- withholding information
- playing tricks on you
- spreading rumors about you
- humiliation
- shaming
- intimidation
- blaming
- ridiculing
- turning your children against you
- isolating you from friends and family
5. FINANCIAL / ECONOMIC
- controlling your money
- forcing you to beg for money
- signing your name to financial documents
- using your identity/social security number without your knowledge
- withholding access to money/credit cards
- stealing assets
- defrauding
- exploiting
- preventing you from working
- sabotaging your source of income
6. SEXUAL
- forcing you to have sex
- forcing you to engage in a particular sexual act
- withholding sex
- exploitation
- forcing you to create or watch pornography
7. SPIRITUAL
- using your spiritual beliefs to manipulate you
- preventing you from participating in your religious practice
- ridiculing your spiritual beliefs
- forcing your children to turn against your spiritual beliefs
If reading this list gave you a pit in your stomach, then maybe you should think hard about what’s going on in your relationship. No one deserves to be treated badly — especially not in their own home. You get one life, and only you can decide how you want to live it.
It’s never too late to make a fresh start. There are resources and people to help you. But first you have to speak up. Don’t be ashamed. There is no shame in being abused, only in abusing.